Body language says a lot about a person before they say a word. Studies have shown that over 90% of communication is non-verbal. They transmit information about our thoughts and feelings to people around us unconsciously. This is why it seems like introverts are depressed or have low self-esteem.
Contrary to popular opinion, body language is complicated. We can say a word that means something positive, but our body language may convey meaning in the opposite direction. These messages are communicated unconsciously.
If your personality is on the introverted side of the MBTI typology, then you might have adopted poses, postures, or expressions that may make you seem shy or withdrawn from people.
This may be bad for you, especially if your introversion is laced with depression and social anxiety. However, this shouldn’t be.
Once you become aware of your bad body language habits, you can easily fix them and change for the better.
The internet and social media have made a lot of people believe that other people’s opinion doesn’t matter, and you can live your life anyhow you want to with no repercussions.
While that may have some atom of truth in it, it shouldn’t be absorbed. Other people’s perception of you matters and it depends on how you portray yourself. As much as typical introverts want to stay indoors all day, they’d need to socialize at school, work, or other public spaces.
Do you think you can exist in this world as an island? Of course not.
So, how can an introvert enhance their body language and boost their self-confidence?
Tips to Help Introverts Improve their Body Language
There are five expressions of body language: posture, physical spacing, gestures, eye contact, and facial expression.
If you want to make your body language portray the right message, then you need to make these expressions work for you.
Body Language Expression 1: Posture
Most Introverts have very bad posture. This is because they tend to lock themselves in their rooms or any enclosed space and stay in awkward positions just to get some solitude.
This makes their body to adopt postures that are not beneficial to them in the long run. How can you correct this?
It’s simple, but it needs a lot of effort on your part.
Good posture starts with staying upright, not just appearing upright. To achieve this, ensure that your spine is straight and your head is held up high, regardless of your mood. Your stomach and shoulders should also be relaxed, but don’t slouch.
When you have good posture, it makes you look relaxed, comfortable, and most especially, approachable. Straining to achieve this will make others feel like you’re pretending to be who you’re not.
Also, studies have shown that there is a direct link between our posture and our mood. When you have a good posture, your self-confidence increases and you’re more alert. But when you have a bad posture, your self-esteem reduces, and you tend to get more sad and depressed.
So, next time when you feel sad or depressed, check your posture.
Also, maintain this posture in social gatherings. If you’re seen to constantly change your posture, it sends a message of nervousness to the other party. This isn’t good for your reputation.
To spice things up, you can lean one leg towards the other person during a conversation. This is very effective when the person is sharing intimate or important details with you. It gives the impression that you’re an active listener.
You can even take it a step further by leaning towards them to get every detail. This might be quite hard for you as an introvert, especially when your social battery starts running out. This is why you should prioritize improving your body language.
You must be willing to put in the work.
Body Language Expression 2: Physical Spacing
Well, thanks to COVID-19, people aren’t overly concerned about the right physical spacing because the pandemic came with its own rules and regulations.
However, we don’t hope for this pandemic to last forever, so we’d eventually go back to basic physical spacing rules. Hopefully, social distancing guidelines will be completely relaxed around the world.
People, especially introverts, underestimate the importance of appropriate physical spacing during conversations. You should choose a physical distance that is both natural and comfortable. It shouldn’t interfere with other people’s space.
Staying too far or too close may send bad signals and harm your reputation. This is because staying too far may make you look like you have lost interest in the conversation, and staying too close may make you look creepy.
Even when your social battery is running out, don’t make it so obvious. If you’re talking to an extrovert, chances are that they don’t know that your battery is running out. They’d probably keep talking and talking without noticing that you don’t feel like socializing anymore.
Don’t take it out on them or zone out of the conversations abruptly. Learn to gently withdraw while still being present in the moment. If you need to excuse yourself to recharge, do it politely.
Sometimes, your fellow introverts may not know. Don’t be hard on them as well.
To give the best impression, occupy your space without remorse. Don’t squeeze yourself in one corner of the chair, cross your legs or fold your arms as though your parents abandoned you in an evil forest.
Don’t shrink, hunch your shoulders down, or try to create excess room for the other person on the seat. Introverts do these sometimes to appear polite, but you can be polite without diminishing your self-image.
People will see you as a withdrawn and socially anxious person, and that is not good for your reputation.
Body Language Expression 3: Gestures
Ah! Gestures!
Gesture observation is a basic way of differentiating an introvert from an extrovert. When an extrovert is engaged in a conversation, their eyes light up. They use their hands appropriately to buttress their points and show that they are genuinely interested in the conversation.
But introverts? Total opposite!
Most of them just place their hands on their thighs and start touching their fingers. Whyyyyy?
Learn to use your hands as an introvert. Punctuating your words with appropriate hand gestures here and there will show people that you’re interested in the conversation. This is so important, especially when conversing with an extrovert.
If you agree with them and contribute uniquely, they’d appreciate you even more!
Now, while body language is done unconsciously, gestures and hand positioning are completely within your control. If you’re an introvert struggling with social anxiety, you may find it hard to find the right position during social interactions that won’t make you look awkward.
This can make you look nervous and tell your conversation partners that you’re uncomfortable around them.
The best way to appear comfortable is to let your arms hang loosely beside you when standing. Your shoulders look relaxed, which makes you look friendly and approachable.
What do you do when sitting?
Good question.
Strive to appear relaxed when sitting. You either rest your hands on the table (note that you only rest your hands and not your arms), rest them on your knees, or clasp them on your lap. Don’t be tempted to play with your fingers.
You need to portray an aura that shows that you’re comfortable and relaxed, so you need to put in the work.
Body Language expression 4: Eye contact
If you don’t work on anything else as an introvert, work on your eye contact!
Eye contact is tricky for both introverts and extroverts. A lot of people have issues with it because it’s a goldilocks issue- you do it too little, you look nervous and uneasy; you do it too much, you look creepy and weird.
Eye contact is also tricky because it’s not something you can directly measure. You can’t say, “okay, that’s enough eye contact for this conversation”. You just have to trust your instincts and hope that your conversation partner doesn’t find you weird.
Introverts suffering from social anxiety have the hardest problems. Excess eye contact may seem too intrusive for them, especially if they’re talking to a stranger.
Also, introverts don’t process information quickly. They need time to gather their thoughts, analyze the facts and figures, and carefully think of an appropriate response.
This is often what they do when they isolate themselves to recharge their social battery. They think about the conversations they have had and the things they should have said.
If you have introverted friends, be easy on them. It’s a huge jungle out there.
Learn how to deal with introvert friendships instead of nagging them to “leave their comfort zone” all the time.
The truth is, there is no golden rule as to how long your eye contact should last. It’s just something that you master when you have intentional conversations with people. You don’t have to do it all the time, just long enough to let your partner know that you’re interested in the conversation.
It’s okay to look away frequently, as long as you remember to return your eyes every few seconds!
Body Language Expression 5: Facial Expression
This is, most likely, the ultimate body language expression you should work on.
The first thing people notice when they approach you is your facial expression. No one wants to talk to someone who frowns a lot and keeps a stiff face. Not only would you be unapproachable, but you’d also give off a bad impression that could hurt you in the future.
How can you resolve this?
Greet people with an open face. Raise your eyebrows slightly, keep your eyes open, and smile slightly with your mouth upturned. That way, you’d look friendlier and eager to hold a conversation.
When you begin a conversation with someone, he/she will pay attention to your facial expressions to know if you’re engaged in the conversation or not. Introverts tend to keep a neutral or emotionless face, which makes people feel like they have zoned out from the conversation mentally.
Don’t do this. Instead, show your emotions, whether you’re excited, amazed, intrigued, or upset about the conversation. That way, your partner will be motivated to continue.
