A Complete Guide to Introvert Friendships


The average person usually has both introverted and extroverted friends. If you’re an introvert, chances are you might not have a lot of friends as not everyone has gotten the hang of introvert friendships yet.

This guide is aimed at helping both introvert-introvert friendships and introvert-extrovert friendships. Introverts differ. Although they share similar characteristics does not make them the best of friends.

For introverts, friendship means a lot because they enjoy knowing people on a deeper level than other people.

If you’re an introvert with an extrovert friend, it might be hard dealing with them sometimes. No matter how much you love them, the difference in dynamics can leave you wondering.

Friendship is considered one of the most beautiful forms of connection. This applies heavily to introverts as they seek deep and meaningful connections in relationships, friendships, etc.

Introverts are generally retrospective and that’s a factor that shouldn’t be overlooked.

Having an introvert as a friend does not have to be challenging if you know the right things to do and say. Here are a few things to know about strengthening your introvert friendships.

They Are Not Ignoring You Because You Did Something Wrong

You’ve probably heard about the term “social battery”. Introverts have a social battery that runs out and they need to recharge. Sometimes it could take days. Other times it could take as much as weeks.

Introverts don’t necessarily talk to people around them every day. This doesn’t mean something is wrong or they are mad at them.

Introverts enjoy their own space and would rather be in their own company sometimes. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. Chances are they love you and your friends but this is inevitable with an introvert.

Sometimes they don’t know how time flies as they are lost in their own world.

The golden elixir of an introvert is to be alone in their comfort zone is. This ultimately makes them a better friend to you because it gives them the energy to do the things you want to do.

You Have to Accept Them for Who They Are

You shouldn’t become friends with an introvert with plans of changing them. This proves you do not accept them for who they are and would prefer if they were someone else. This can chase an introvert from you. It goes against everything there is to introvert friendships.

Introverts are unique in their own way. Never forget that no two introverts are the same. The best way to get to know about your introvert friend is by studying them. Another great way is the simple act of asking.

For instance, if you’re dating an INTP boyfriend, you need to understand how they behave intensively, or most things they do will be awkward to you.

If you’re an extrovert, your introvert friend may seem odd in their ways. Instead of letting the dynamics separate you, celebrate what makes you unique. Accept them for who they are and enjoy a possible lifetime of friendship.

Sometimes All They Need Is Just You

If you’re friends with an introvert, you should understand sometimes, and that is most of the time, all they need is just you. They are completely okay with spending an evening with you. This is a better option to them than going to a party. Or going to other forms of social gatherings with a lot of people.

You should also know never to bring other people as a surprise. Not only is this overwhelming, but it can give also give them a flight or fight response. Sometimes they might choose flight.

When you bring a lot of people or others to a gathering, it involves more socializing and small talks which is an absolute nightmare to an introvert. They would avoid this as much as they can.

This can leave them in a dilemma because they do not want to come off as rude to your friends. They also do not want to hurt your feelings. A way to avoid this situation is to understand that all they need is you.

If a situation ever comes up where you want to bring other people, let them know first. Study how they react. If they are okay with it, then you can go ahead.

They Need Time to Make Up Their Minds

You’ve probably noticed that your introvert friend needs time to decide if they want to go to a concert or not. You shouldn’t force them to decide immediately. This puts them under pressure no one needs.

If they say no to your invitations, it has nothing to do with you. Please do not get sad or mad at them. Instead, be more understanding. Introverts feel very overwhelmed by social gatherings. The idea of leaving their comfort zone does not always sit right with them.

If they ever ask you for time to think about an invitation, don’t assume it’ll be a yes. Don’t assume it’ll be a no either. Let them come to you and let you know. Avoid guilt tripping them into doing it either.

If you want introverted friendships to thrive, you should take notice of these things.

You Can Attempt Pushing Them Out of Their Comfort Zone

This might seem confusing. Why would you want to do that since you already accept them for who they are? It’s simple.

Sometimes introvert need that extra push to learning new things. Sometimes it’s ok to push your introvert friend out of their shell. As long as you do this carefully and thoughtfully.

It gives them a chance to meeting someone new, learning a new activity etc. they would be glad you did. Contrary to popular belief, introverts can enjoy meeting new people as long as it’s done the way they want.

Introvert friendships are a way to teach and learn. Studying your friend and asking them when necessary is a great way to. You can learn what it is they truly like and what they would never accept. Sometimes all they need to have the time of their lives is a little push.

They Value Your Friendship

Your introvert friend values your friendship a lot more than they might care to show. This is because introverts won’t let you into their space if they don’t like you. In fact, they wouldn’t consider you a friend if they don’t like you. This is a reference to how much they read deeper into things.

They do not like making small talks with just about anybody so you’re certain they do enjoy talking to you at least. They can’t be open with everyone, so you know they feel comfortable around you.

It may seem as though they like their space a lot, but sometimes they let you in on it. That’s one of the purest ways to know your introverted friend likes you and considers the friendship valuable.

Challenges Introvert Friendships May Encounter

These are most of the troubles faced by your introverted friend. Knowing this gives you an insight into what goes on in their minds.

They Find It Difficult To Stay in Touch

Your introverted friend finds it difficult to stay in touch and it sometimes worries them as much as you. Sometimes they wish they could reach out to you more but they forget. They get lost in their world.

Sometimes they may think of you but then they don’t call. You can notice how happy they are when they see you. Never question that.

They Overthink the Friendship

Sometimes they wonder if it is worth it. Your introverted friend might worry that they aren’t contributing to the friendship as much. This could either be because of something you said or did. They are always misunderstood and this could be the case.

They wonder if they should reconsider the friendship since they enjoy being alone. However, this is a challenge because they enjoy being with you as well.

How To Overcome These Challenges

It doesn’t matter if you’re another introvert or an extrovert, these challenges will come. But how can you overcome them?

  • Communicate with each other. Tell each other what you have in minds and work something out. If you’ll like your introvert friend to reach out more to you, then let them know. Find a way to meet each other.
  • Set reminders to reaching out to each other. It can be an alarm or a date on your calendar. Introvert friendships thrive on this so do not forget to incorporate this in your weekly routine.
  • Respect each other enough to know what to do and what to avoid. This is a great way of strengthening introvert friendships.
  • Be confident in your friendship. Understand that they still love you even though they go back into their shell. Introverts enjoy alone time and nothing can change that.

A Note To Remember

Introvert friends and friendships are beautiful. Never keep trying to make it work as long as both parties are interested. This guide would help you understand how to go about this.

Remember that the best way to get the needed information is by simply asking.

Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi is a photographer, writer, designer and an INTJ female. She enjoys telling stories and delivering messages through words, photographs and designs.

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