Dealing With Your Introvert Girlfriend: A Guide


If you have an introvert girlfriend, you’ve come to the right place. More and more people are discovering just how important introverts are to society. They are the calm and collected people who do the “boring” stuff right?

There are lots of misconceptions about introverts and this can be projected on your girlfriend. This guide would help you identify these misconceptions and understand your girlfriend a lot better than others do.

A good number of people would agree that once you fall for an introvert, you never go back. But then with introverts, it can be a little tricky.

From getting to know them and keeping up with their various interests, introverts tend to come off as snobbish, shy, dissociative.

This article gives an insight into what goes on in your introvert girlfriend’s brain and how to make her happy.

What Should You Know About Your Introverted Girlfriend?

The very first thing you should know is she probably would prefer a quiet evening out with you than happy hour. Talking, laughing, lying in each other’s arms seems more like fun to her.

Partying and clubbing on the other hand? Not so much. Just because you take her to an awesome party doesn’t guarantee she’s having fun. Sure, she might do some of these things for you but chances are she clocks out mentally and does it just because she loves and cares about you.

Introverts aren’t the biggest fans of gatherings and social activities that include a lot of people. They also aren’t the best at letting people into their space and can be very protective.

An introvert can survive just fine without people. This isn’t because they hate people but prefer their own company.

Your introvert girlfriend is also very observant and notices everything around her. She has hobbies you can’t wrap your head around because it’s usually a one man’s job.

There are so many things to know about your introvert girlfriend and how to ask her about it but how do you deal with one?

Accept Her for Who She Is

The most important tip to know about dating an introvert is by accepting them for who they are. Their personality is something they have no control over and they should always feel safe around you. And this includes not trying to change them.

You might like a person but not appreciate the fact they are introverted. This could pose a problem and could eventually lead the relationship to crash and burn.

Accepting your girlfriend for exactly who she is makes her more comfortable to be who she is around you and your people.

You have to accept that she may not be the life of the party, neither would she be the social butterfly and that’s ok. She would be more interested in private time, seeing a movie, or just sitting in silence.

Respect Her Space

As mentioned above, she would like and protect her space. After social events, she might seclude herself to recharge because her social battery is burned out. That’s right, introverts have a social battery.

Now this battery can die at any time. In the middle of a party, at the end of a party, or even when you just walked through the door. Do not take this personally.

One of the best things to know about dealing with an introverted girlfriend is to respect her space. Her alone time means a lot to her and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.

Respect your girlfriend’s space and leave her alone when she needs it. When she needs you she’ll let you know. Do not let her feel choked up by your presence. You can do this by continuously trying to invade her space even when she doesn’t want this.

if you were the introvert boyfriend, you wouldn’t like someone pulling you out of your comfort zone unexpectedly now, would you?

Do Not Abandon Her At Social Events

This is an absolute no-no. Never leave your girlfriend alone at social events. When you go to parties, try to stay close to them or leave them where they feel comfortable being. You can have signals to know when she’s ready to leave.

Now, this is in no way an order to be by her side every single time. This is because you need to have fun as well. But making her know you’re around and she’s safe by checking in on her goes a long way.

Sometimes she wants to do an activity with just you so don’t bring people along. Don’t take her to parties unprepared. Introverts have to prepare themselves for social gatherings and skipping that step could lead to anxiety.

Meet Each Other Half Way

If you’re an extrovert, things your introverted girlfriend does could seem strange. They may seem boring and confusing to you. If you’re also an introvert it is safe to note that no two introverts are the same.

Sure they might share a few similarities but they all have their uniqueness. That being said, avoid projecting your introversion on her.

Just as she accepts you for you, you have to accept her for her. Meet each other halfway. You like going to concerts and she prefers a quiet Sunday evening reading by the porch. Compromise.

You can compromise by doing your activities on certain days of the week. Then doing hers certain days of the week. If you go on four dates a month, you can engage in two activities you enjoy and two she enjoys.

You’ll be surprised by the things you’ll learn from introverts and especially her.

She Is Highly Introspective

Introverts always seek a deeper meaning of things. This means your introverted girlfriend would analyze situations but do not let this trigger you.

You might have been engaged in one too many deep conversations with your girlfriend. She’s only trying to understand things the way she knows how.

Engage in conversations. Answer the questions she asks you without becoming irritated. She would appreciate this and feel comfortable being around you.

The thing is, a lot of people date introverts and try to put them in a box. This leaves them being anything but what they want to be. That’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

She’s A Great Listener

Have you ever wanted to talk to someone but they just wouldn’t listen? Introverts are great listeners and this means your girlfriend is willing to listen to you. This means she’s great at communicating coupled with the introspective part of her.

Keeping things away from her isn’t a good idea. She’ll overanalyze it and wonder why you don’t just talk to her. Introverts always want to know what’s going on in your mind. Let her in.

Understand Your Introverted Girlfriend Is Cool

It’s okay to accept that your introverted girlfriend is cool. She has all these characteristics and a lot more. She can spend time with herself and feel comfortable, she has a great understanding of things and she’s a great listener.

When you understand all of these about your introvert girlfriend, you are halfway there. Can you ever fully understand an introvert? No. You can’t fully understand someone and one of the best ways to find out more about a person is by asking.

Myth Busters About Your Introvert Girlfriend

Here are some myth busters you should know about having an introvert girlfriend.

Your Girlfriend May Not Be Necessarily Shy Because She’s an Introvert

Most people classify shyness and introversion together but that isn’t always the case. Although some introverts are shy, this doesn’t mean all introverts are. That means she may not be totally against the idea of meeting people or going somewhere. She just wants to do it on her own terms and in her own way.

Your Introvert Girlfriend Isn’t Boring

Introverts have a wide range of things they are interested in and this means they are more than introverts. They have interests and know a lot about them. Sometimes they even like talking about it with people.

Asking your girlfriend to talk about things she enjoys is a progressive step. Be interested in her activities too. She finds her activities fun and you should accept that too.

She Isn’t “Weird”

Your introvert girlfriend is not “weird” because she enjoys spending time alone and doing things some people might not understand. Never be ashamed of her or make up excuses. See her more than what the world does. Instead of seeing things people consider flaws, see them as strengths.

A Note To Remember

Dating an introvert isn’t as hard and people make it out to be. Yes, you might have a few challenges especially if you’re an extrovert but with this guideline, you should have an idea of what goes on in your introvert girlfriend’s mind. How she thinks and how she operates.

Again, do not forget the best way to know an individual is by asking and observing. There’s a reason she’s your girlfriend in the first place. There has to be something that attracted you to her. Never lose sight of that. Eventually, you’ll understand her world and she’ll understand yours.

Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi is a photographer, writer, designer and an INTJ female. She enjoys telling stories and delivering messages through words, photographs and designs.

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