The INFJ and INTJ relationship is fascinating but quite rare because each of these two personality types only makes up 1–3% of the global population. If they’re lucky enough to meet, these two personality types will get attracted to each other because of a powerful similarity: Introverted Intuition
In this article, we’ll be exploring the intricacies of the INFJ and INTJ relationship and why it’s a match made in heaven.
Similarities between INFJ and INTJ personalities
INFJs and INTJs have several traits in common. What are they?
They are very independent personality types.
INFJs and INTJs are quite independent. Instead of seeking validation from other people, they enjoy spending time exploring their interests and likes. They don’t chase people or find relationships. In most cases, INFJs and INTJs are happier and more fulfilled than singles.
Their relationship works well because both personalities can interact with each other and share similar interests, but they find it very fulfilling to pursue personal interests and responsibilities. INFJs and INTJs enjoy their privacy, so they’re easily irritated by people who try to butt into their affairs or are apparently too clingy.
Both have an introverted intuition.
One of the peculiar similarities between these two personality types is that they have dominant introverted intuition. This means that they easily identify patterns and make conclusions about future events and possibilities. The way INFJ and INTJ personalities perceive things is hidden from other people.
They enjoy research, metaphors, and predicting future events. An introverted intuitive doesn’t just make conclusions out of thin air. There has to be a series of patterns, emotions, and actions that must be put together.
Introverted intuition is not planned. INFJs and INTJs wouldn’t spend so much time wondering why they reached a certain conclusion until their predicted events are actualized. Then, everything begins to make sense.
They’re incredibly goal-oriented and planned.
Both personality types are visionary and goal-oriented. They love to envision a future goal, have a definite plan to get there, and then work strategically to achieve it.
Their dominant function, Introverted Intuition, helps them to be futuristic- to find a pattern and determine what the turn of events will be. In most cases, they can be perfectionists but try not to be too hard on themselves.
They’re more focused on the process or the plan to get there than the actual results. This is the only way they can get true fulfillment or satisfaction.
Both have inferior extraverted sensing (Se).
This function is inferior because both personalities push it aside a lot and find it hard to accept or understand. It may look like an under-used function, but that’s not always the case.
Extraverted sensing helps both personalities focus on the outside world. It helps them to live in the now and fully immerse themselves in the things around them.
INFJs and INTJs have repressed this function, so it’s not apparent when it’s used. However, it helps both personalities strike a balance. Instead of living in their heads all the time and mulling over research, they can go out and have a little thrill every now and then.
They are almost always unconvinced.
It’s not surprising that INFJs and INTJs are always skeptical and doubtful about things. They’re not afraid to do things differently or question things that have always been done a certain way. They will keep asking questions and finding out about things until they make a definite intuitive conclusion.
Don’t be surprised when they never take things at face value. They’re aware of who they are and of things around them, so they understand that things aren’t always as they seem.
Be ready to constantly debate with INFJs and INTJs over the minutest things. It’s just who they are and why they bond so well with each other.
Why do INFJs like INTJs?
It’s true that INFJs and INTJs have several similarities, but are there reasons INFJs truly bond with INTJs? Let’s find out.
INTJs have hidden soft sides.
INTJs are very logical and analytical. Because of this, they often look tough and intimidating on the outside. In most cases, people often turn to INTJs for expert opinions because of their brutal honesty. Other personality types may not feel very comfortable around INTJs because of this.
INTJs don’t get vulnerable around a lot of people, even their friends. They put up this strong, masculine persona that makes it look like they have everything under control.
However, INFJs are quick to realize that INTJs have hidden soft sides- they can be emotional, vulnerable, and overwhelmed with life’s challenges. This makes them more attractive and appealing.
They are great conversationalists.
INFJs and INTJs connect well because their conversations feel effortless. INFJs love conversations and direct interactions.
Because both personality types have the same dominant function, introverted intuition, they can talk for hours, have meaningful conversations, talk about their unique experiences, and dissect theories and ideas.
But the most beautiful part about their conversations is that they transcend words. They pay attention to signs, body language, and the meanings behind the words being said. This is why they rarely have misunderstandings with each other, whereas they have several debates and dissensions with other personality types.
Both personality types are such safe spaces for each other.
They recognize their differences.
The things that bother other personality types are the things that attract an INFJ to an INTJ. For instance, INFJs are great when it comes to managing other people’s emotions and feelings.
They often have issues making decisions in critical cases because they let their emotions stop them from doing what they want. However, INTJs are more logical, so they help INFJs make more practical and well-informed decisions.
But on the flip side, INFJs help INTJs become more empathetic and in touch with themselves. There is this sweet balance of logic and empathy that emanates from this relationship.
They appreciate logic.
INFJs are feelers. They are quite emotional and very sensitive to things around them. However, they are also very logical because of their introverted thinking (Ti) function.
This is why they can relate pretty well to INTJs because of their extroverted thinking functions. INTJs have strong gut feelings, but instead of solely relying on their intuition, they will thoroughly think through things and analyze situations. They have critical and logical thinking skills to back up any intuition.
The INTJ is able to make up for the INFJ’s weak spots and the moments in their lives when their “feelings and emotions” get in the way of analytical thinking.
They love to plan.
Both personalities are judge types, so they generally love planned and well-structured lives. When they wake up in the morning, they love having a plan for their day. They block out times of the day for certain activities. INFJs and INTJs hardly have issues with punctuality, neatness, accountability, and effectiveness.
These two personality types enjoy each other’s company because they have similar approaches to structure. It’s easier for these personalities to make plans and achieve them consistently. If they engage with other personality types that live their lives by the wind, they will always get irritated and anxious about the relationship.
Why do INTJs like INFJs?
They love conversations, obviously.
The INFJ-INTJ relationship is plagued with genuine, sincere, and intellectual conversations because of each personality’s unique features. They relate on several levels because they have the same dominant trait, introverted intuition. This helps them to look at set patterns and predict future events.
They can delve into deep and intellectual conversations for hours, connect the dots in unexpected places, and read in between the lines.
However, the INFJ is a “feeler” and the INTJ is more logical and analytical, so the INFJ personality brings a fresh perspective to the conversation that the INTJ enjoys. It creates a healthy balance.
INFJs are one of the few personality types INTJs tolerate.
The INFJ personality has Introverted Thinking (Ti) as its third function. This function helps people see the world in a logical way. Personality types with introverted thinking as their primary function are very critical and logical people.
Because the INFJ personality has this as a third function, they really enjoy thinking and putting things into perspective. But their primary function (introverted intuition) kicks in and makes them rely heavily on set patterns and form conclusions based on past events.
This makes INFJs rational feelers- a combination of feelers and thinkers. They are one of the few personality types INTJs can relate well to.
INFJs are a mysterious bunch.
INFJs are very mysterious and misunderstood. They are not the world’s rarest personality type for nothing. You can’t really say you understand them or know much about them.
Read Top 20 Signs You’re an INFJ, the World’s Rarest Personality Type
Well, their mystery comes from their interlocking traits. They’re creative, yet rational. They’re intuitive, so they work a lot with their gut feelings and the conclusions from a fixed pattern. However, they’re also perfectionists because they want things to be done a certain way.
The INTJ is intrigued by this mystery. They’re logical and analytic, so they enjoy trying to decipher the personality of the INFJ not just through conversations, but also through body language, gestures, and actions.
INFJs compliment INTJs with emotions and sensitivity.
INFJs are feelers. They’re emotional and sensitive towards other people. INTJs always feel that their logic is supreme. They compliment each other by striking a healthy balance.
The Perils of the INFJ and INTJ Relationship
Clash of logic and emotions
INTJs are thinkers, while INFJs are feelers. If not controlled, this clash can bring about disappointments in varying shapes and forms. If both personalities haven’t found a way to heal, they could ooze unhealthy traits.
Intelligent vs. helpful ideas
INTJs come up with ideas that are intelligent and logical, while INFJs are more interested in ideas that will benefit everyone. They might clash in this area, especially if they’re unhealthy.
Idealists VS Realists
INFJs tend to be very realistic and sensitive. They analyze things the way they ought to be. Even in their relationships, they have the ideal way they want their partner to behave. The INTJ is realistic, on the other hand. If the unhealthy INFJ tries to change the INTJ, they may clash.
