If you’re an introvert having challenges in making friends, this is for you. Making friends as an introvert can be very challenging and sometimes impossible. It’s difficult for introverts to let just anyone into their space. They usually prefer the solitude of their own company.
The problem is that even introverts get lonely from time to time and need to meet their own people. But meeting those people is where the challenge comes in.
Introverts tend to spend a lot of time on their own so meeting new people can be hard. And even when they do, starting a conversation is challenging. Introverts hate small talk most of the time so it’s hard to engage in just about any conversation.
An average introvert would rather stay home, relax and living in their own world. When they need to go out, they aren’t always comfortable because outside can be draining. People, noises etc.
Over socializing can even lead to a social hangover for an introvert. But this doesn’t mean introverts hate people. They just have a limited social energy unlike extroverts who can accommodate a lot more.
What introverts need are friends who understand their need for solitude. Someone who understands them for who they are who isn’t trying to change them at any given turn.
It can get really lonely for introverts, so here are tips that can help you making friends. Not just any friend, but people who get you.
How To Make Friends as An Introvert
As an introvert, you need certain tips to help you make friends. Walking up to a stranger and striking a conversation might not be your cup of tea. But these tips will make it all better.
1. Ask Yourself What You Need in A Friendship
It’s easy for anyone to make random decisions when they feel lonely and think they’ll never find a person. This makes a lot of people stay in abusive and draining relationships (platonic and romantic).
Asking yourself why you need a friend is very crucial. Of course, there’s no formula to these things but it gives you an insight.
Ask yourself how much you’ll be willing to put in a friendship and what your deal breakers are. Only then can you proceed to other tips on making friends as an introvert.
2. Consider People You Already Know
Of course, no man is an island and no matter how introverted a person is, they know one or two people outside their circle. As an introvert, you just haven’t given them a chance.
These people probably want to get to know you better but you keep them at arm’s length and it makes it harder for them to try or continue. Sometimes they just give you your space.
What to do is consider people you already know by taking an inventory. These could be people at your workplace, your neighbor, someone in a group or you always see around in school.
Of course, this isn’t giving access to just anyone in your life but it helps you carefully plan it. But after the inventory, what comes next?
3. Reach Out to Them
Hold on, don’t stop reading yet, here me out first. As an introvert, we spend a lot of time waiting for others to make the first move. To make the suggestion and sometimes even decisions. We wait for people to come to us first and yet we reject them.
So, what about changing the perceived method this time. I know it’s easier to fear rejection yourself as an introvert but it’s part of life and what’s the worse that could happen?
As introverts, we tend to fear rejection and hopelessness. This makes us reluctant to let people into our lives. Self doubt always makes us question if we are worth it. But reaching out to these people won’t hurt.
The worse they can say is “no”. You feel bad for a couple of minutes and you move right on. In most cases these people have already tried reaching out to you but your mentally shut them down.
4. Engage In Conversations
When we meet new people, the dreaded small talk comes into play. You have to undergo the torture of the back-and-forth random questions but do not think of it this way.
Instead, think of it as learning about someone and giving them an opportunity to learn about you. If you feel uncomfortable talking about yourself, the trick is to ask them questions too.
Ask them about themselves, what they do, and probably other questions you’ve been asked in your lifetime. You can always ask them questions you think you’d prefer answering.
This way you can just sit back and listen. And then to the next step.
5. Study The Atmosphere
You want to study the atmosphere to know how you feel. Body language says a lot. So, do not overlook it. Studying how you feel after meeting and spending time with someone is necessary.
Do they overwhelm you? Are they accepting of who you are? Can you trust them? Do you have to pretend you’re who you are? Do I dread seeing them again?
All these questions can help you evaluate if you like a person and are willing to go on with the relationships. Friendships shouldn’t be draining and there should be a spark that makes you want to meet them again.
For introverts engaging with extroverts, chances are you won’t be very similar. But there are certain aspects of each of your lives that should make sense together.
Sharing even just one similar interest is important so you have activities to do together. And not sharing is similar interests is important to. It gives you an avenue to learn new things.
6. Do You Think They Like You Too?
It is very important for your friend to feel the same way about you too. How can you tell? One way to tell is how much time they went to spend with you. If they are willing to exchange contacts.
Another way is if they ask deeper questions about you and you can’t stick in the small talk routine for too long. This means they want to get to know you a lot better and for a longer time.
Other ways you can know is how they listen to you and their body language. If you feel they enjoy spending time with you, then they probably do. Remember never to force things. Let them happen organically. Just put in the effort and watch it thrive.
7. Keep Track of Yourself and The Friendship
Being introverted is getting lost in your world you forget to keep up with a lot of people and things. A good way to go about that is having a routine.
You and your new friend can plan activities on a day of every week. Or two days. Depending on how much you both can take. It makes you aware of an external party and harder to forget. Something introverts tend to do a lot.
When we know what comes next as introverts, it makes us prepared and a prepared introvert is a lot more comfortable and fun one.
8. Do Not Rush Things
You should know that anything genuine tends to take a longer time to develop. This applies to friendships as well. No matter how lonely or sad you might be, do not settle for less.
People do not bring meaning into your life; you have to find that on your own. They are however an additional bonus to your life. An additional reason to live. But they shouldn’t ever be the ultimate reason.
Take things slow, appreciate the little moments right from the beginning. And if it doesn’t work out, that isn’t the end of the world. You can always try again.
Conclusion
These are tips on how to make friends as an introvert. Let me know which one you dread the most, which holds you back more and which you are willing to try.
