What are some extroverted behaviors that annoy introverts deeply? We live in a extroverted world. As such, when you’re introverted, people look at you as shy and undeserving.
Extroverts, on the other hand, are that life of the party. They tend to have their way most times due to their outgoing and possibly lovable attitude. They are great with words and social interactions.
Unfortunately, these are areas where introverts tend to be lacking and are usually overlooked by society. But what’s the story behind introverts and extroverts?
There are certain extroverted behaviors that tend to annoy introverts more than they care to admit. This does not mean introverts hate extroverts. They just wish to be understood, respected and given their fair share of expectations.
Extroverted Behaviors That Annoy Introverts
So, let’s get right into things extroverts do that can make an introvert go crazy, ruin their day, or make it difficult for them to hang out in the future.
1. Never Really Listening
One behavior that doesn’t sit well with introverts is the poor listening abilities some extroverts tend to have. Generally, introverts make amazing listeners. How could they not? Anything to prevent them from talking.
Some are also good at analyzing, processing and solving problems. This great listening ability is what makes it easier for you to vent to is and it’s what makes it easier for us to understand you. That’s exactly what we expect in return.
Sadly, that isn’t always the case especially if we are venting to extroverts who feel listening is tasking. When you listen to is only with the intention of replying, it annoys us greatly.
2. Imposing Extroversion on People
If there’s one thing extroverts do that introverts hate is assuming the rest of the would should be extroverted. There are billions of people in the world, why does everyone have to be the same?
Introverts tend to spend more time in their heads than they do in real life. Now this means when they are faced with real events, they usually have little or nothing to say. But extroverts fail to realize and accept that.
When you’re around them, they want you to talk more, become more like them even when you’re different. However, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with extroversion and that brings me to my point. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with introversion either.
3. Unplanned/Spontaneous Activities
As an introvert, I like to plan my day, week, and even month. What happens when this calendar is disrupted? Internal chaos but there’s always a backup plan even for the back up plans. So, imagine coming up to me spontaneously to hang out?
Naturally the answer to that question is no but we don’t always say it out loud. Whenever we are asked that question, we immediately start processing and seeing how it fits into our schedule. It can be draining when done too often.
Introverts appreciate it when things are more planned out and fit right into our schedule. When it doesn’t seem like it’ll drain the remaining social battery we have left. Extroverts need to understand this and not take it personally.
4. Unexpected Phone Calls
I hate talking on the phone. It’s a general introvert trait and we just prefer texts over calls. Here’s the thing, my phone ringing triggers my anxiety especially if I wasn’t expecting it. Texts do damage but not as much, so if you can text it, do.
As introverts, phone calls can through us off balance. It’s the same with other loud noises such as car horns, a barking dog, a creaking door. They come with this sense of urgency and you have to attend to them without thinking first.
Except it’s an absolute emergency and you can’t rely on the wait period for introverts to see your texts, you might want to consider good ol texting.
5. Mindless and Small Talk
For some reason, extroverts feel they need to fill up the silence in a room. You really do not. People who talk about a lot of nothings can get on your nerve from time to time.
And there’s always this amazement we have seeing it happen as we think “wow, you never get tired huh?”. As people who find it impulsive to stay quiet and tend to regret everything we say especially if it isn’t forethought, this mindless chatter is impressive yet infuriating.
But we do not need that. I promise you; introverts do not mind sitting in silence and just going about our activities together. That speaks a lot more than words can. It means we’re in a comfortable space. A trusting one.
6. “Are you okay? You Look Angry”
Well, I was until you asked this question. Here’s another extroverted behavior that annoys introverts. The constant need for a fake smile. It’s demanding and we’d rather not do it. I promise I’m okay. I just left my face on default. You should try it sometimes.
Most introverts, myself included, have mastered the art of faking a nice smile in public. This explains why we can come off looking constipated sometimes. Don’t take it personal, I don’t know where to move my lips.
Why don’t you let us smile when we want to? When we truly want to, without the societal pressure of looking mean or even worse, aloof. No one can be that happy 24/7.
7. Drama
Nothing scares an introvert more than drama. Especially if they are somehow part of it. Of course a good drama can be entertaining periodically but not always. Sometimes you need to know when to stop.
Drama makes you mentally and physically tired and that’s why we walk away instead of taking part. Ever wondered why we have a little circle? Less people to deal with. But then again that isn’t 100% drama proof.
But a small group means it can be contained and when it can’t, we usually state our discomfort in two ways. Approaching the situation head on and talking about uncomfortable things to get past them. And the all time favorite, walking away.
8. Assuming Having “Nothing to Do” Means “Free to Hang Out”
When we plan to do nothing, it’s because we are drained and need to recharge our social batteries. We need to take a break from the outside world even when we just went to one party last week.
Having nothing to do is code for our alone time. We don’t just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Okay maybe sometimes we do. However, we do other activities to. Watch that movie we’ve been planning on, reading a book, engaging in personal projects Etc.
It is not an invitation to ask us to hang out. Don’t take it personally when we say no. We’d love to do that some other time but this is our alone time. If you know anything about introverts, you’d know how very important this is.
9. Invading Our Personal Space
A common extroverted behavior that annoys introverts is invasion of personal space. When you invade our privacy, it makes us feel little. Like you don’t respect us. We appreciate it when you read our body language too.
You don’t have to come too close when you talk to us, neither do you have to touch us. It makes us uncomfortable and we just want to go home. And when introverts set boundaries, they are often misunderstood.
We really hope you don’t take this personally and just respect our space in general. That way we can have a conversation for longer and your company isn’t complete draining.
10. Having No Regard for Our Private Conversation
When we tell you something in private, going to tell your other group of friends is a no-no. That makes it impossible to want to tell you a thing again. Our personal conversation is ours and no other party is invited.
When in a personal conversation, we tell you things we most likely wouldn’t tell to just about anyone. When you do that for us, we regret everything and probably go into overthinking drive.
It’s just common human decency to respect everything we say to each other. Keep it to yourself. Sometimes we don’t even like when you bring it up to us.
11. Need For Excessive Eye Contact
There is no possible reason I can think of where we need to make constant eye contact. To introverts, eye contact can be awkward. Or romantic. It depends on who you’re looking at but so far I’d say awkward.
We find it difficult to make eye contact when we talk or listen for various reasons but the ultimate us uncertainty. We aren’t just sure of the average eye to wall ratio needed in an average conversation.
Plus, it’s uncomfortable because then I suddenly can not blink right. And when talking to a group, having eye contact with one person can come off as scary and challenging. Switch it up a bit, too much eye contact ruins it all.
12. Coming Over with A Friend
Whenever your introverted friend finally invites you over, it’s best you come alone. Except it’s with a pet and that can be forgivable. It depends on what we have at stake. The last thing you want to do is bring someone along just because.
Introverts might not say it there but it annoys us so much. When we invite you over, we are mentally prepared for one person. Barely even. Another party just means either a social hangover or a not so optimal performance. Yet another extroverted behaviors that annoy introverts.
13. Gossip
Gossip can make good conversation from time to time but we appreciate talking about other things more. We almost never care about this gossip, but when you start our curiosity might get the best of us.
When all we constantly talk about is gossip and other people’s lives, it can be draining for us and we begin to get annoyed. Talking about nonsensical things isn’t our forte. If we ever engage in it, we can’t keep up longer than minutes.
When gossip is the only conservational topic you can come up with, we tend to zone out a lot and just leave you talking to yourself.
14. The “Look at Me” Attitude
Maybe we get annoyed because we just don’t get it. We do not like unwanted attention. So, when we see you draw this to yourself intentionally, we either stare in amazement or just downright cringe at the sight.
This has nothing to do with us feeling like you’re drawing all the attention for yourself. Therefore, leaning us with nothing. In fact, we appreciate you got your devices. We just don’t get why you’re do what you’re do.
Yes, we enjoy attention sometimes, especially from certain people, but when it’s always and from everyone, it can be completely overwhelming.
15. Monopolizing The Conversation
Yes, we might make good listeners but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk at all. Sometimes we have very insightful things to say but you keep monopolizing the conversation. And we just let you have it.
It is true we may not be the best at expressing ourself through words like extroverts can. But we respect it when you let us have our moment. Our opinions and perspectives count too.
We give you attention, all we ask is the human decency to return the favor. Trying to shut us up just makes us never want to talk again. In the conversation and to you. Yet another extroverted behaviors that annoy introverts.
16. All The False Assumptions
Aren’t introverts supposed to be shy, unsociable, have no life etc? When you’re an introvert with these, people try making you feel like an imposter. Like there’s only one way to be a certain thing.
Sometimes they classify introverts with antisocial behaviors which is far from true. One is a personality trait and the other is a mental health problem. We appreciate it when you let us tell our story instead of doing it for us.
Conclusion
Extroverts are fun and great to have as friends but there are extroverted behaviors that annoy introverts. There’s this reality that every introvert needs an extrovert friend for a little push.
This list doesn’t mean we hate extroverts, we just get annoyed by certain extroverted qualities.
As an introvert, which annoys you the most? Let me know in the comments.
Aleruchi is a photographer, writer, designer and an INTJ female. She enjoys telling stories and delivering messages through words, photographs and designs.
