Do you believe you fall under the enneagram social 4 category? Don’t worry. This article has everything you need to know.
Shall we?
Who Belongs to this Subtype?
Enneagram 4 belongs to the shame triad, meaning they deeply feel shame. But while social 4s embody this, they have a special way of reacting to shame. Why?
Most of them seem to want to feel shame. They usually expect to feel shame, so they always play the victim, which causes them many problems. The shame they experience can come in various ways, such as their needs, desires, vices, etc.
A social four is emotionally oversensitive, feels deeply, and suffers more than most. They want people to witness their suffering, hoping that they might forgive them for their failures and love them unconditionally.
You can recognize them as people who lament too much and always play the victim, sabotaging themselves to engender sympathy from others. This usually backfires, though, because they end up unable to move on from their cause of suffering.
Read: Enneagram Social 2: What to Expect
What are their Strengths?
They Want to Express Themselves.
Social 4s make great artists because they are great at expressing themselves, personally or universally. Some are very good at converting their suffering into inspiration and producing something valuable.
They are also emotionally self-aware and reflective. Most go on a “search of self” journey to understand their feelings and impulses. Despite their self-sabotaging shame, they are gentle, discreet, and compassionate to others and themselves.
They are very Individualistic.
Apart from being true to themselves, self-revealing, emotionally honest, and humane, the enneagram social 4 also interiorizes everything to connect with their feelings. This makes them take things personally and find it hard to move forward when offended.
Also, the typical enneagram social 4 is introverted and shy, and they find it difficult to “get out of themselves.” They take their time to sort out their feelings, therefore, could be withdrawn and express themselves with art.
They are Passionate
It is difficult for an enneagram social 4 to fit in with any group, and the main reason is that they are introverted. However, they become alive when they find themselves in a comfortable group and let loose. But regardless of how introverted they are, they also become alive when it comes to their passions.
One way to draw in a social 4 is to discuss their passion. Because they know a lot of the subject matter, they will have a lot of things to say during the conversation. Their passion helps them become the best experts in their field.
What are their Weaknesses?
Inferiority Complex
Enneagram Social 4s compare themselves to others so much, and this comparison doesn’t make them feel any better. The constant comparison makes them feel inferior to others and forces them to develop an inferiority complex.
The primary emotion behind this is envy. As they constantly compare themselves to others, making them envious of their abilities and what they have, they negatively affect their self-confidence and mood.
They Struggle to make Meaningful Connections with Others.
Social 4s do well with people that give them emotional support, which means they can excel in a group that cares about them.
However, connecting with others can be problematic for an enneagram social 4. Connecting on an individual level just for networking might sound unappealing. This unease is evident when they try to force themselves to communicate with others, and it is often not seen as genuine and could set their careers and other aspects of their lives backward.
The best way to care for an enneagram social 4 is to listen to them whine about their troubles and try to understand them deeply.
They are Self-absorbed
It is not a surprise that social 4s are very self-absorbed, and it is one of their main flaws. As stated before, enneagram social 4s are much invested in their emotions and suffering, making them self-absorbed.
This self-absorption makes them too involved in their feelings, thereby neglecting the feeling of others. This attitude becomes more pronounced when they find a comfortable place to discuss their problems.
Read: Enneagram Social 1: What Should You Expect?
Growth Tips for an Enneagram Social 4
- Try to think positively of yourself. Yes, the feeling of inadequacy can make you feel bogged down. However, you can start by understanding that you don’t need to compare yourself to others.
- Count your blessings. You can do this by showing appreciation to others. But first, put value into your feelings and try to think about what you have achieved yourself. You can extend this thought to others by thinking about them too. They also have problems and suffer like you.
