Do you know how to talk to women as an introverted male?
As an introverted male, the idea of talking to women can be daunting. You may feel shy, uneasy, and awkward, even when you’re typically self-confident. You fear getting turned down or saying something stupid.
For Instance:
Imagine an introverted male meets his crush after a long time and the following conversation follows:
“Molly?”
“Oh my God, Steven!” She probably runs over and gives him a huge hug. “How have you been?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
“Good, good.”
That awkward silence.
How will he keep the conversation going? What will he say next? Should he make a joke? Or should he comment on how she looks?
Imagine he goes, “So, the weather’s pretty nice.”
No matter the response she gives, the lady will probably be thinking in her mind, “Weather? Really?”
At this point, it becomes painfully obvious that the conversation has no destination. The lady would easily find an excuse to leave.
In a world that places extroverted males on a pedestal, where Hollywood makes extroverts societal ideals, what should introverted males do?
Dating is generally hard for introverts to navigate. To make it worse, most introverts are shy (shyness and introversion are different). The energy it takes for introverts to walk up to girls they like and engage in a meaningful conversation is exhausting. But it’s not impossible.
We’ll explore tips on how to navigate this phase. The key is to maintain an authentic connection, instead of manipulating or impressing the other person.
Top Tips on How to Talk to Women as An Introverted Male
Here are top tips to help you make a meaningful social connection with the opposite sex:
Be Honest About it
You don’t have to be shy or hide the fact that you’re introverted. Introversion is a strength. You should be sincere about your personality. You should be sincere so that you don’t hurt her feelings if she asks yo The essence of being sincere about it is so her feelings will not be hurt if she asks you to a loud party or concert and you turn her down.
If you pretend and manage to attend a party, she will notice your discomfort and misinterpret it as lack of fondness, rather than the fact that you are an introvert.
Thus, coming clean is a better decision to make. The truth is that you have a lot of strength as an introverted guy.
Being an introverted man means you’ve got several very attractive traits already:
Hard to predict
Easy to be around
Unique perspective
Intellectually stimulating
And many more…
These qualities make you feel refreshingly genuine to women who are also authentic and warm themselves. These are qualities you can’t pretend to have. You can only bring them out naturally by being yourself.
Read: How to be Vulnerable As An Introvert
Focus on Her
Girls generally like it when you pay close attention to them. Moreover, focusing on her might distract you from uncomfortable feelings you may be having, especially being in a public gathering as an introverted male.
To achieve this, maintain eye contact with her, smile, and relax. Try not to cross your arms, as it comes across as defensive. Touch her gently on her arm while she is talking. That way, you encourage her and show her that you are listening.
Smiling
Smiling is one of the easiest ways to flirt. Maintain eye contact when doing this so there’s no doubt that the smile is meant for her. Wait for her response. You could have instant communication if she smiles back. You should go talk to her at this point. Initiate small talk. Ask her about a class or if she is going to the next event at school or in town.
Teasing
As an introverted man, teasing has a way of getting someone interested in you. A tease is a remark that is out of the ordinary that will get her attention. If she is a writer for instance, tease her by saying she needs to learn a better way to introduce her books.
If she is a cheerleader, tell her that people strain to hear her at the games and she needs to take it up a notch. You can always compliment her on her clothes or the good grades she gets.
Teasing a woman like this creates curiosity. Most times you notice she tries to get validation from you. She may start showing you her write ups before publishing or looking out for you in games. This way you both begin to have a shared activity.
Read: Where do Introverts Find Partners?
Don’t Rush Your Words
To talk to a girl as an introverted male, you must remember you are comfortable with silence in between discussions. However, the girl may feel bored with it. So speak calmly when you start talking after a silence. If you speak fast after a silence, it will seem as if you tried to fill the silence as soon as you could.
If you take your words slowly, you will exude confidence. This gives off a signal that you were never bothered by the silence in the first place. This makes the girl take the intermittent silence as normal when talking to you.
Furthermore, talking slowly will give you time to think your words through and pick your words carefully.
Find Common Ground
Introverts prefer to give, rather than take, which is an admirable trait, but it can drain you. Catering to her tastes may make her happy at first, but subsequently, your energy will be depleted. In the end, you will not be a very good boyfriend. To prevent this, try to find out your shared interests. That way, you can show her a good time without being the only one making sacrifices.
Let Her Talk
It’s a proven fact that women talk more than men. Even while growing up, girls talk earlier than boys and acquire language skills faster. On average, women speak 13,000 more words each day than men. As an introvert, you are already good at listening so you would probably prefer to let her do the talking anyway. So sit back and enjoy the flow of words, while asking a few well-placed questions to keep the pump primed.
Being a good listener is a great way to show her that you like her and are interested in her thoughts and point of view. At least it won’t be like a dreaded chore to you.
Be There for Her
Always tell your girlfriend that you are there for her. Remember to stay on the phone for as long as she needs or wants. Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings. If she’s crying, it may be difficult for her to talk or for you to understand her through her sobs.
Embrace her calmly and let her feel comfortable with your presence. Soon she will spill it out. It’s also possible that she may not feel like opening up about the details of the situation. If that is the case, be patient and don’t pressure her to talk.
Show Empathy
It’s very important to be understanding when your girlfriend is upset. Show her that you care about her feelings even as an introverted man. Carefully put everything she has to say into consideration. Do not look down on your girlfriend’s concerns.
For example, do not tell her to calm down and that she is overreacting. Listen without judgment and validate her feelings by saying something like, “I can see why you would feel that way.”
Don’t Try to Solve All Her Problems
As an introverted guy, you might be tempted to make every effort to impress the girl you love. It’s normal for you to want to make your girlfriend’s problems go away. Fight the urge to give advice when she doesn’t ask or to tell her what to do. Don’t even tell her about a similar situation you had and how you went about it.
All you have to do is to provide comfort. In doing so, let it be about her. Don’t make it about you.
In conclusion, it is clear that in our earlier story, the introverted man could ask the girl where she is headed. He could also inquire if they can meet later at her convenience or if she can even spare an hour to talk.
Introversion is a strength that when you play it well you will have a robust relationship with the love of your life.
