Are you an introvert finding it hard to get into the dating world? Are you tired of being single and would love to give love a chance? Then this article is for you.
For introverts, dating can be a lot of work. They never go into relationships where there’s no authentic or pure connection. Introverts also have a hard time leaving their space. So, meeting people can be quite a challenge.
Luckily in today’s world, we have social media and dating apps which makes things easier. But is dating ever easy? Introverts have different personality types.
Some introverts are more introverted than others. This means finding love through an app may not be in the cards for them. Sometimes you can get tired of being single but do not want anyone to disrupt your peace. This is an introvert’s conundrum.
Getting into a relationship is one thing, but going on dates that lead to this moment can be a challenge.
As an introvert looking for love, there are some important things you should know about yourself and the world in general. Here are 8 dating tips for introverts.
Dating Tips for Introverts
1. Access Yourself
Before going into a relationship, it is better to access yourself and know why you want a relationship in the first place. Do you truly want to go into one because you fear being alone forever or you’re genuinely ready for one?
This step is very important so you don’t accept anything less than what you deserve. As introverts, we spend a large amount of time on our own because we love and accept our company. It helps us recharge and to be our most creative and authentic self.
Whoever you’re willing to let into your life shouldn’t disrupt that balance. You should be comfortable enough to be your true self with them. It’s okay to let them go if you can be yourself around then.
The fear of being alone is quite common amongst introverts. Although it isn’t a completely nagging thought, it makes us worry. So self assessment and reflection helps you in making better choices.
2. Pick A Scene
Let’s face it, introverts can’t fit into just any environment. This is applicable to romantic dates. We like places with less stimulation and less noice. The louder it is, the more we want to bail.
It is best to go to a more comfortable seated arrangement with less noise and dim lights. Let’s say you’re an introvert who is also very sensitive. The last thing you need is sharp sounds and blinding lights on a date.
What this does is that it prevents you from being overstimulated and overwhelmed. This is why it is important to go where most you’re comfortable with. No matter what it is, you can always communicate with your date.
The more you feel less threatened, the higher the chances of you actually enjoying your date. It’ll be easier to know the other person better.
3. Know What You Want and Don’t Be Afraid To Ask
When you begin dating as in introvert, you shouldn’t hesitate to ask questions. This helps you understand your partner better. Although first dates helps you know someone, you want to be ready to ask and answer questions.
As introverts, there’s this desire to want to know everything at once. The need to create a good first impression and to prevent awkward silence can affect you.
When introverts are in the spotlight, it can affect their confidence as they aren’t exactly in their element. With dates, it can get overwhelming when your date asked you questions.
To make things easier for you, have a list of questions you’d love to ask. This keeps the conversation open ended. It’ll also help you enjoy your date. Ultimately, you should do what works for you.
4. Try Not To Overthink
Yes, overthinking is a very common introverted activity especially when you are anxious. You begin to think of so many things from your dress to the environment to your date. That can be very draining for anyone.
When out on a date, try your best to focus on other activities that works for you. Whenever you start overthinking, try to stop it immediately.
If you tend to overthink on a date, it can make you bail out on your date. Writing your thoughts down before the date can help. It’ll help you understand why you’re worried and think of ways to be calmer.
Going through your thoughts can help you highlight the absurd possibilities anxiety paints in our head. If it helps, you can work with impulse. Get dressed and go out on that date.
5. Communicate With Your Date
The need to communicate with your date can not be overemphasized. Tell them things you find comfortable and uncomfortable. It is important to let them know you are introverted and how that affects your actions.
If your date doesn’t like that, then you’re better off without them. You should know not to work on egg shells around your date or try to be who you’re not. Studies have shown that most times it’s just not worth it and it always ends in regret.
Telling your date where you want to meet, eat, or what you want goes a long way. Surely, it’s about both of you. So, meeting each other halfway is more ideal.
6. Consider Other Ways to Meet Someone
Learn to maximize your options. Meeting people online isn’t always a bad idea as long as you play it safe. When you eventually meet them, you should do so in a public place.
Texting and emails are a great way to know someone especially for introverts. The pressure of eye contact or fumbling your worlds is eradicated. However, remember not to do this for too long.
The longer you text, the more you might not want it any other way. And whenever the other party wants to meet, your anxiety of not meeting up just comes into play.
Although texting makes you more relaxed with a person, dragging it on for too long is never a good idea. Plus, meeting in person helps you study their body language and know if this is what you want to do.
7. It Isn’t Always as Your Fantasy
The average introvert have fantasies on their ideal relationship. Setting standards for a relationship is always necessary and personally a prerequisite before getting into anything.
However, you should distinguish reality from fantasy. Spending all your time alone can leave you at the mercy of romance books and movies. Real life is different.
The love may not be at first sight and they may not be the “perfect” person. However, understanding the difference between someone who is willing and someone who isn’t is crucial.
This isn’t encouraging you to settle for less. But you must realize your heart might go where you never imagined. As long as they treat you right, respect, and support you, give them a listening ear.
8. Do Not Get Desperate
Desperation is the beginning of a lot of downfalls. You must be content with being single and alone. This isn’t always a challenge for the introvert. However, whenever they start seeking love, they may go out of their comfort zone.
Not being in a relationship doesn’t make you a loser. Getting desperate would make you settle for less and that’s when you’ll have a problem.
Remember to love yourself enough to accept being alone. Wait for someone who loves and treats you right. That way, your relationship has a higher chance of just working out. Hopefully these tips help you navigate the world of dating.
