What is the real relationship between narcissists vs empaths? It is safe to say that it is a pretty unhealthy one especially for the Empath. When an Empath enters a relationship with a narcissist, it takes a lot of their time and energy.
It can leave them burned out and completed exhausted on a frequent basis. This kind of relationship can be classified as toxic and parasitic. Empaths and narcissists are complete opposite of each other. And although it seems like opposites attract, this is destined for failure.
Empaths always want to provide love, care and support for who they love. It’s in their nature to exhibit these characteristics. However, narcissists are the complete opposite. They crave attention and put they’ve a before anyone else. Always.
Narcissists tend to have manipulative tendencies which is not the same for the empath. In a relationship they could easily manipulate an empath and that’s not what relationships are about.
In this article, we will have a look at what differentiates a narcissist from an empath and how empaths can save themselves from narcissists.
Who Is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is an individual who is generally self centered and thinks of themselves greater than anyone. They practically believe they are more special than others and this can make them manipulative.
A narcissist would have to be diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder. But in most cases, you can tell. A narcissist would lack empathy, care, and understanding.
However, when it comes to an inflated ego and complete grandiose feeling, they are first in line. And that makes them completely unhealthy for an empath.
It is safe to say that a reason for this could be because of their insecurities as children which eventually played out into adulthood.
Who Is an Empath?
An empath is an individual who is more sensitive to the emotions and feelings of others. They are a lot more in tune with people’s feelings and practice more selflessness.
This can also be the downfall of an empath as they tend to ignore their own needs but prioritize the needs of others. Making them easy victims for people just like the narcissists.
An empath can feel when a person is sad and out of place. They would do anything to make people around them happy. They are quite the compassionate people.
An empath feels things deeply. It can range from emotions to even the sounds around them such as the Heyoka Empath. Being in a relationship with an narcissist would be their undoing.
Narcissists vs Empaths: An Unusual Attraction
Narcissists and empaths do not make a good couple but sometimes they can get attracted to each other for various reasons. Empaths feel drawn to narcissist because they are like a pain they need to heal. Narcissists feels drawn to empaths because they get all the attention they require.
An empath is susceptible to absorbing the emotions of people around them. Both good and bad emotions. So when they come across a narcissist, their problem solving abilities are triggered.
They want to be there for the narcissist as much as they can and give them all the comfort them need. You see an empath can see through the façade of a narcissist grandiose and confident lifestyle. They can see the sadness underneath but that’s never enough.
The challenge in separating an empath from a narcissist is that they believe they can make them better. Heal their wounds and show them a better life. Therefore, spending their time and energy in showing how much to a narcissist.
That might seem like a beautiful love story but the truth is that a narcissist would never see their efforts. They believe they deserve all the good things so it just seems like the right thing to do. In turn they take advantage of the Empath.
In a relationship like this, you can already tell who would prey on who with the empath receiving the shorter end of the stick. But yet, they are attracted to each other because they complement themselves in a twisted way.
Narcissists vs Empaths: Attachment Style
Both personality traits can be because of attachment styles and childhoods of both individual. Our childhood plays a huge role in how we see the world as an adult. This leaves people with different attachment styles and personality traits.
For the empath, when their emotional needs are not being met by their parents/caregivers, they can search for these from a narcissist. The validation and little attention they get from a narcissist keeps them in place even when they aren’t happy.
This can be a common occurrence if an empath grew up with narcissistic parents/caregivers. That means they didn’t experience the love and attachment they needed from said parent. So, they serve for this in their narcissistic partner to help appease their inner child.
Narcissists on the other hand can be an opposite but not as much as you’d think. A narcissist could also be from a home with narcissistic parents/caregivers. This said parent could project their insecurities on the child.
In other, situations it could be because they were abused or encountered a traumatic event which led to the development of their behavior. Differential susceptibility comes into play as both could have the same childhood but emerge differently.
Although childhood does shape us as adults, we can make a conscious change to get better where something is flawed. Therefore, a narcissist has no moral logic to be the way they are to empaths or being around them as adults.
Narcissists would exploit the feelings of the empaths to fill the void in their hearts. This can leave an empath feeling mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
Narcissists can get help as long as they are willing to. Stopping and reflecting on your actions help you identify your flaws and do better. Until they do that however, a narcissist will not change nor try to.
Empaths who are at the shorter end of the stick would endure a cycle of emotional and even physical abuse because of their selfless nature. And this doesn’t make any sense either so they need to reflect as well.
As an empath, it is important to pause and reflect on why you need someone who loves and takes good care of you. Seek therapy and embark on self development journeys.
If they don’t, the narcissist would most likely gaslight them not thinking they are the ones at fault (the Empath) and they are the victims (the Narcissist).
It is important to know where you stand in a relationship as an Empath. But I can assure you that it’s a much better world out there.
Forming a bond based on trauma shouldn’t be the building block of any relationship. It makes it harder to see when things are wrong and when you should break it off.
A narcissist wouldn’t mind leaving an empath once they see another person to prey on. This is because they don’t love anyone more or even close to how they love themselves. So finding a new victim isn’t so difficult for them.
Narcissists vs Empaths: Protecting Yourself
It can be difficult managing your emotions especially when you have feelings for a narcissist. But there are different ways to protect yourself as an empath. The very last thing you want to do is be in a relationship where you don’t feel appreciated.
Here are some ways to protect yourself as an empath in situations like this.
1. Understand That You Will Not Receive Appreciation
It is important to note that no matter what you do for a narcissist, they would not appreciate, acknowledge or even reciprocate. So, displeasing yourself go please them just goes the way they want.
You can’t guilt trip them into trying to be better. They only will when they reflect and decide on this themselves. So, no matter how much sacrifices you make, it would not matter. They wouldn’t care.
So, avoid doing this with a narcissist because you would get nothing in return. Stand firm in your decisions if you ever come across one or if you find yourself having feelings for one.
2. Be Clear About Your Boundaries
The next thing you want to do is setting up firm boundaries. But these boundaries aren’t exactly aren’t just for them but for you as well. Do not push it and do not give them an opportunity to either.
It is important to set these boundaries from the start to let them know what they are getting into. If you’re already in a relationship with one, it’s not too late. They may contest it at first but do not waver.
It doesn’t matter if they get angry, try to attack you or even threat to leave you, be firm in your words and action. And if they eventually leave, good riddance.
3. Avoid Giving Them A Second Chance
You do not want to give second chances to a narcissist because they make promises that they would change. This is a very common thing for narcissists. They just say that to gain access to you.
If you stand firm in what you believe in, they may start gaslighting you into thinking you’re hurting them. And this can make you rethink your choices.
When you accept them for a second chance, it might seem like they’ve changed at first. But that’s just a façade to get you leaving your guards down. Then they begin all over again.
Of course, narcissists can change but you should let them do so without making you suffer from it. Giving them a second chance is very risky and is never the best decision.
4. Get Professional Help from a Therapist
A therapist can help you as an individual or as a couple. But you have to realize they must be willing to make this change as well. Or it’s all a complete waste of time.
An outsider’s opinion such as a therapist can give you better insights on things you must’ve missed. It helps you identify and understand the problem. And gives you better solutions on how to control the situation
Couples therapy could work for you as a couple only if your narcissistic partner is willing. Going into therapy alone can also help you identify why you deserve better in case this article wasn’t enough for you.
Narcissists vs Empaths; An Unusual Romance
As an empath in a relationship with a narcissist, your happiness would always be tied to their approval. And that you might never get.
If you feel you are in danger and are being abused by your partner, then you must seek for help. Call an emergency line or talk about it with your therapist. They would know what to do.
If you’re too scared to visit a therapist, you can find great ones online such as BetterHelp. Remember you deserve a lot more than you’re getting, so why not go for it.
