How to Deal With an INTP Boyfriend

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Here’s the secret about people, especially introverts: you’ll have an idea of what to expect, but you’ll never know what you’re going to get. With your INTP boyfriend, chances are, every day with him will be a surprise.

Should you panic? Not really, because this guide is here to keep you prepared.

With your INTP boyfriend, you might notice how easy it can be to love them. They are introverts after all and are pretty laid back and reserved. Sometimes you might wonder what you need to do to spice up your relationship.

Here are important things you should know about your INTP boyfriend that will make your relationship awesome.

Be Honest About Your Emotions

Lying is a terrible way to get a person. It’s a no-no, especially for INTPs. You do not want to make the mistake of doing this because it could ruin a lot of things. There are very few things that can make an INTP go berserk. One of which would be lying.

Another reason you should be honest about your emotions is that it benefits you as well.

You want to be happy in the relationship, right? So do some honest talking. Let him know the things he does that get you upset. Let him also know when he does something that you absolutely love.

Maybe you need more affection, support, etc from your INTP boyfriend. How do you get this? By being honest. They can handle the truth better than most. This is better than keeping your emotions bottled in.

Do Not Pressurize Him

Do not pressurize your INTP boyfriend to do things he isn’t comfortable with. Putting pressure on him to talk when he doesn’t want to can make him panic. Unfortunately, this is one of the challenges you might face when dating an INTP.

INTPs may come off as cold and distant even without trying. This is where communicating comes in. Instead of pressuring him to express how he feels, be a source of encouragement.

It can get pretty difficult sometimes but with a little more patience, you can get him to talk about how he feels about you or a situation.

Reassure him in situations when you want your INTP boyfriend to express his feelings comes up,. Let him know that you’re there for him and can handle his directness. Talk about how you’ll prefer being talked to.

He Would Need Space

Your INTP boyfriend is going to need space. So, you have to be ready whenever he needs space. He absolutely loves his personal space and won’t compromise on it. It’s how he functions as an introvert and you have to respect that.

INTPs need their space to recharge and ever so often, they would zone out from the rest of the world. They value their independence and sometimes will get lost reading a book or watching a movie. When you come off as too clingy, it scares them and makes them push you away further.

When dealing with your boyfriend, you have to come to terms with the fact that he’s introverted. Therefore, he would have the characteristics of an introvert.

Accept Their Vulnerability

A time will come when your INTP boyfriend will be overly vulnerable with you. You might even experience outbursts. However, the best thing to do is to be there for him. It probably took a lot for him to feel comfortable doing that around you.

Never make him regret doing that or that might be the last time you’ll ever see him that way. It’s never easy for an INTP to be that vulnerable with a partner.

When you’re faced with his emotional outbursts, listen to him while he talks. He might say more that day than you’ve heard in months. Give him a shoulder to cry on, support him, and give sincere advice. Better still, make hot chocolate. You never know.

Let The Relationship Be Interesting

INTPs have an extroverted intuition and it usually comes into full swing. This is why you should keep your relationship as interesting as possible. Do not completely dwell on a routine. Learn to switch things up and blow his mind.

When you spark his extroverted intuition, it keeps him coming back for more. Now, this isn’t something you do every time or it in itself becomes a routine. But from time to time, be spontaneous and come up with impressive new ways of expressing your affection.

What Makes My INTP Boyfriend Cool?

When you know these things about your INTP boyfriend, it makes it easier to manage the relationship. But you should never forget that INTPs make great boyfriends as well. You might be rethinking a relationship with one but you should know they are a pretty cool deal.

Here are a few things that make your INTP boyfriend cool:

They Are Great Listeners

Your INTP boyfriend is cool because he’s a great listener and that’s rare these days. Sometimes it might seem like he’s not focused on what you’re saying but chances are he’ll remember everything you tell him. INTPs don’t fake their feelings for anyone. So, if they care about you, you know it’s real.

Your boyfriend listens to everything you say. This is because he wants to understand you better. INTPs take listening and understanding very seriously. They are putting together your words, expressions, and body language. They take communication very seriously, especially from people they care about.

When an INTP lets someone into their lives, it’s because they plan for that. They don’t just do that with anyone. It may seem like they don’t care because they don’t express it easily but you should know they think about you often.

That brings us to the second reason why your boyfriend is cool.

They Care Deeply About You

Your boyfriend cares about you and wants the absolute best for you. He wants you to achieve your dreams because he cares about you. Your INTP boyfriend might be very logical but he might also encourage the idea of dreaming.

This means he will be there to help you explore the possibilities of achieving your goals and dreams. Since they are masters at studying their partners, INTPs know how to encourage their partners to reach their potential.

They are more than happy to listen to your dreams. They are even happier knowing how you plan on achieving them.

You might have noticed your boyfriend is excellent at problem-solving. This is one thing that makes him cool. He knows how to improve situations as well as helping people around him. You are no exception.

One thing about your INTP boyfriend is that he is not pretentious.

They Have a Mushy Side

That’s right, your boyfriend has a soft side. There’s this misconception that they are emotionless but you should know that’s untrue. They may not be expressive to just about anyone but this doesn’t mean they don’t feel emotions. They just have a hard time processing and expressing these emotions.

When an INTP loves you, they can feel it on a very strong level. Stronger than they might like to put out. They may not be the best at using words but they try to make up for it with actions. Sometimes these actions may seem shortcoming.

There’s a reason why your INTP boyfriend isn’t vulnerable to just about anyone. This is because he’s afraid. He fears showing his feelings because he doesn’t want to be rejected, or worse, get hurt. This is why you have to accept him and make him feel comfortable being vulnerable with you.  

How To Connect with Your INTP Boyfriend

Ways you can connect with your INTP boyfriend include:

  • Planning a quiet date where you do things he likes. You can incorporate what you like into it too. Remember relationships are all about meeting each other half way.
  • Ask him things he would like and give him the opportunity to ask you questions as well. Misunderstandings could be a reason why your relationship may be having a difficult time.
  • Be more patient with him. Your INTP boyfriend probably loves you and that’s why he’s still in the relationship. He may seem distant sometimes, so let him know you need more time with him.
  • Remember not to force him into doing things he doesn’t want to do. This can send him back to his shell and you don’t want that.
  • Don’t take some things he says too personal because INTPs are usually blunt and don’t mince words.

A Note To Remember

Understanding your significant other is a progressive step into building a long-lasting relationship. More people need to know this and act on it. There are lots of personalities and characters.

Your INTP boyfriend has what makes him unique and easily misunderstood. He isn’t a cold person as people would make it seem. He might seem cold on the surface, but he can be all mushy and lovey-dovey on the inside.

There has to be something that attracted you to him in the first place. Never lose sight of that. These are the important secrets to know when dating an INTP.

Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi is a photographer, writer, designer and an INTJ female. She enjoys telling stories and delivering messages through words, photographs and designs.

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