Heartbreak comes with its sting every single time. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert.
Now, people deal with heartbreak differently. Some people will go on to their social media pages and probably rant about how men/women are the worst genders. Others will stay in the silence of their rooms and cry so hard that their eyeballs plead for mercy.
Getting through a heartbreak could be one of the toughest periods of your life. You will cry, feel bad, and in severe cases, feel worthless. Now, people have misconceptions about relationships. They feel that it will be easier to be less attached to a person you’ve dated for 5 months than it will be to someone of 5 years.
That isn’t always true. Human beings aren’t always replaceable. If you’ve been attached to someone even for a short while, their absence will cause a sting.
It doesn’t matter how long the both of you stayed in the relationship. The breakup will hurt, whether the relationship lasted for five months or five years.
Now, how do introverts deal with heartbreak? If you have an introverted friend, how can you notice these peculiar signs? How can you help?
Note that different introverts have their unique ways of dealing with life situations, including heartbreak. Their response depends on several factors, from environmental conditions, childhood, parenting, to even their personality traits.
However, here are a few common ways that most introverts deal with it. Shall we?
How Do Introverts Deal With Heartbreak?
- They value their alone time now more than ever
If you think introverts crave alone time, they do now more than ever. They don’t just want it but need it.
Most introverts are deep people. They often get socially exhausted very easily, so they tend to hide in solitude and recharge their social batteries. This gives them the energy to face social events as they come.
Their alone time also allows them to meditate on the events of the past day. Introverts will then think of better ways to respond to issues next time or regret things they should have said.
Now, when they face heartbreak, where do you think they run back to? Exactly. Their place of comfort.
If your introverted friend is going through a heartbreak, you should let him/her be. Now is not the time to preach to them, or tell them how they should have behaved in the relationship to keep their partner. Most importantly, now is not the time to preach the pity sermon.
They crave alone time to think their lives through. You should respect their privacy and give them some time alone. They’d most likely want to watch a movie on Netflix than listen to you.
If they need someone to talk to and you suit the description, they’d come to you.
- Divorce drains them completely
It’s one thing to go through heartbreak. But divorce is another ball game altogether
Divorce stings, regardless of the person or personality traits. However, introverts tend to be more connected and attached to their person. They could have shared very sentimental and quiet moments with.
Both of them have possibly had several deep conversations that explored their futures together. In most cases, neither expected divorce to be a party pooper. No one does, anyway.
Divorce is painful for anyone that experiences it, especially when the process and situations that led up to it leave painful memories. Just like heartbreak, introverts going through a divorce need alone time. They need time to think and plan their next line of action if they have any at all.
Note that now is not the right time for sermon preaching, or telling them to go into the wild to start “exploring”. Understand that anytime they go for a “divorce” appointment, they don’t come back the same.
If you have an introverted friend going through a divorce, leave them alone. If they need someone to talk to and you’re close enough, they’d reach out. Just let them know that you’re available to talk and help.
- They might not be as emotional as you think
One common misconception that people have about introverts is that they’re very emotional. Not every introvert is. Yes, introverts tend to connect with their emotions better.
However, that doesn’t mean they will cry at the slightest emotional scene. Introversion personality traits have a lot to do here.
In fact, there are more emotional extroverts than you can think of.
Don’t expect your introverted friend to always come crying at your doorstep. They’d most likely cry in private and hang a fake smile in public.
The hearts of introverts are stronger than people think. They think of the deepest, darndest things. Their minds are ever-working and planning out things. This is why the greatest minds in human history are often introverts.
It’s not easy to bribe your way into getting an introvert to open up. You can get pizza or most of their favorite foods, but they won’t budge. They’d eat it, thank you, and go home. It’s only in their quiet place that you can find them most vulnerable.
Introverts are very picky about who they bare themselves out to. If you haven’t proven yourself worthy of such an “emotional burden”, then don’t push it. They might get irritated if you do.
However…
- They still need emotional support
If you’re not the go-to friend for emotional support, then not to worry. You can still offer emotional support. Your introverted friend needs all the emotional support he/she can get during these trying times.
Contrary to popular opinion, you can offer emotional support without being nosy. Don’t try to get them to speak up about their feelings.
If you want the full story and they’re not willing to tell it, don’t push for it. Help them to recover as naturally as possible.
Take them to their favorite sport. Get them tickets to their favorite concert. Cook their favorite food. Take them for scenic walks and try to talk them out of their silence (with their permission of course). Help them to try out a new hobby. Be ready and available to share their burden when they need to offload.
Introverted people act like they don’t need emotional support. They’re often too busy soaked up in their silence to admit that they need help. You wouldn’t blame them. They are so used to dealing with things on their own, in silence.
Be there as a friend when they need you. Act as a therapist only with their permission.
- Don’t rush them to jump back into the game
You know that phrase that says that the best way to get over someone is to get under another. That is very untrue in a lot of ways, but this article won’t delve into that.
We all know that one person rushes back to the hunting scene to cope with heartbreak. These kinds of people are not usually introverts. Introverts are less likely to start dating post-heartbreak.
When they date someone, they connect deeply with that person. In most cases, they give their all to that relationship and tell their deep secret desires to that one special person. When that relationship breaks off, they won’t just hop on to the next person they find.
They take their time to survey people, to find out if they’re really worth the stress or energy. Introverts will focus all their mental energy on finding someone that matches theirs, and this might take months (if not years)
Don’t try to rush them back to the dating game. Stop trying to introduce them to supposed “single friends’’. That pretty guy or girl that just moved into the neighborhood may not be the right partner. They are emotionally fragile and vulnerable, so they’re sure to make mistakes.
- Their mental replay game is top-notch
Introverts think deeply. They can go through the nitty-gritty of the events of the day flawlessly, and analyze everything that happened. This makes them great at mental replays.
Introverts are more likely to go to events that they and their partners had gone to previously. They’d most likely go to the sit-outs and spots that they went to with their partners.
Introverts are more likely to re-read romantic messages between them and their partner from years ago. They’d also watch their favorite videos countless times.
This is why the recovery process takes so long. They keep trying to replay their favorite moments in their heads and pondering over them. This can help to steer them in the right direction.
However, it becomes a problem when they keep pondering and meditating on these events. They become depressed and anxious. These introverts find it hard to concentrate on anything else. In most cases, they blame themselves for the turnout of events.
This will reduce their self-worth and esteem over time.
There will come a time when introverts need to stick their heads out of the water and engage with the outside world again.
Their friends can help them to do this gradually when they’re ready.
