A Guide to Understanding Your ISTJ Boyfriend Better

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If you’re looking for someone who takes their words seriously, then you should consider having an ISTJ boyfriend. They take commitment seriously and do not settle for shallow relationships.

They are also very trustworthy because they always keep their promises. Lying about how they feel about you does not cut it to the ISTJ.

The ISTJ male would rather stay silent than lie about his feelings.

Another important thing to know about the ISTJ is that they don’t feel threatened by constructive criticism. During conflicts, you can expect them to be calm and composed.

ISTJs are confident enough to handle tough situations. You can expect them to rely on facts and logic when making decisions. However, an ISTJ boyfriend might always think he’s right and this can be exasperating if you aren’t used to it.

This personality type is very responsible. They have a hard time showing their emotions. This, however, does not mean that they don’t feel them.

What Are the Strengths of The ISTJ Boyfriend?

Here are some of the strengths of the ISTJ boyfriend:

  • They keep their words and promises.
  • They are committed since they take relationships seriously.
  • ISTJs make great listeners and you can tell them just about anything.
  • They are prudent with spending and are good with finances.
  • The ISTJ boyfriend is great at telling you what’s on his mind in a clear and precise manner.
  • They are not emotional neither do they take constructive criticism to heart. They take it quite well.
  • The ISTJ boyfriend is calm in conflict situations and it doesn’t get the best of them.
  • Just as they can take constructive criticism, they can dish it out as well.

What Are the Weaknesses of The ISTJ Boyfriend?

Here are some of the weaknesses of the ISTJ boyfriend:

  • They always believe that they are right.
  • ISTJs do not like losing an argument and tend to argue a lot.
  • They aren’t really aware of the feelings of people around them.
  • ISTJs come off as rigid to others.
  • They are not the best at words of affirmation and would keep most things to themselves.

The ISTJ boyfriend is quite the peculiar kind. Here are things to expect if you’re dating an ISTJ male or looking forward to dating one.

They Need Their Alone Time

Just like every other introverted personality type, the ISTJ is no different in this aspect. They absolutely need their alone time because that’s how they function.

The ISTJ is an overly direct personality type so they might tell you this. It is important to not take this personally as it doesn’t mean they care about you less.

They are very straightforward with their thought process and they say it as it is. As a result, they need someone who understands that and won’t take it to heart.

ISTJs aren’t the best at parties and social gatherings but they have their fun side.

What do they do in their alone time? A lot. Mostly scheming. The ISTJ is one who pays great attention to details so it only makes sense to mentally check out a few things.

When they don’t get their alone time, they can crumble right in front of you. You don’t need that.

When an ISTJ goes on his quest for alone time, it doesn’t mean he wants to stop talking to you. If an ISTJ male loves you, he will be willing to let you into his space. You just have to earn his trust.

Sometimes he is fine with just sitting with you in silence as you both go about your activities.

They Are Obsessed with Finding Details About You

The ISTJ requires a lot of information about you before he dates you, and he’ll keep studying you when you start dating. This is a normal thing for the ISTJ if they are falling for someone.

ISTJs don’t just fall for you. They need to know why they are falling for you. This is from evaluating you and the things you do. They have a mental checklist of things you need to do before you qualify.

If you’re already dating an ISTJ, it is safe to say you checked most of the list.

The checklist can include your ideology, your employment status, and any special talents you have. It can also involve common interests. When the ISTJ is interested in you, they want to know the color of your car. They can be as intense as that.

When they start asking questions about you, satisfy their curiosity. They don’t just dump a truckload of questions. Far from that because they are very stealthy. Chances are they noticed details about you before asking for clarity.

They Tend to Hide How They Feel at First

When an ISTJ is in love with you, they start thinking of ways to let you know without being awkward. Until then, they will hide their feelings as much as possible. Well, only till they blurt it out.

Relationships for introverts can be quite challenging because they dread the awkward stage of realization and acquaintanceship.

They would rather just go right into it but that’s impossible. The ISTJ is no different and if they can’t come up with a plan, they just let you know straight up how they feel.

This might be a little awkward for both of you so you have to play it cool. If you’re already dating one, saying the first “I love you” might be a challenge till they are absolutely sure. But when they do say it, you can be sure they mean it.

One way to find out if he is into you is to observe his body language whenever you are with him.

They Are Very Intentional

You know how they say you can’t choose who you love? Well, they obviously haven’t met an ISTJ yet. They are very intentional in who they have feelings for.

If you pass their mental checklist and they see compatibility, they will let their feelings take place. The ISTJ male usually wants a long-term relationship and won’t waste his time on any other thing.

Not only are they Introverted and Sensing, but they are also Judging. This makes them very loyal individuals. You can trust that they won’t do anything to hurt you when they choose you. They won’t be intentional if they don’t feel anything for you.

They choose who they need to be with based on logic and why not? Sometimes the absence of logic eventually leads to a downfall. They don’t let themselves fall for people who aren’t worth their time and effort. A good partner of the ISTJ boyfriend will understand that.

They Are Capable and Efficient

The ISTJ is used to making decisions based on their thinking function rather than their feelings. This makes them a lot more capable and efficient compared to a lot of other people.

They tend to not let their emotions get in the way and would rather be logical. If you’re searching for someone who uses more of his feelings, then the ISTJ is not the one for you.

This can pose a challenge because they forget that other people need to be appreciated. They often forget to voice out this appreciation. The best way to handle this situation is to be patient and teach them how to go about it.

Also, because they feel that they don’t need to hear it, they forget that the other person does. If you’re dating the ISTJ boyfriend and you need words of affirmation, walk him through it. Make him see the logic behind it and he’ll always do it.

As mentioned earlier, they are very efficient in just about anything they dart out to do. This gives them a great deal of respect. You just can’t help but respect them as they always rise to the occasion and in most cases, impressively.

They are always willing to work on issues and this makes them wonderful partners. They also make caring companions and even though they don’t voice it out, they have their ways.

Who Makes a Good Partner for the ISTJ?

Anyone who is willing to understand how the ISTJ works is a good enough partner for them. Sure, they are said to work better with extroverted personality types. Almost all introverts usually go for extroverts at the end of the day.

There is something about the dynamics that make them a good match.

However, this isn’t always the case and two introverts can have a great relationship. They just need to find their way around it, from the alone times to their individual uniqueness.

ISTJs make great but very logical boyfriends. They can walk out the door if they are taken for granted. ISTJs aren’t the ones to search for short-term relationships because they are very committed.

If you’re looking for a fling, it’s best to let them know. Again, they are very logical and would do what they think is best for the situation.

Understanding all these about your ISTJ boyfriend will make your relationship better.

Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi is a photographer, writer, designer and an INTJ female. She enjoys telling stories and delivering messages through words, photographs and designs.

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