A Guide to Understanding Your INFJ Girlfriend Better


What makes your INFJ girlfriend special? Can she be the right and possibly the wrong person for you? What makes up the INFJ girlfriend and how do you understand them?

This guide will help you with all you need to know about them.

The INFJ girlfriend is a pretty complex person and that makes it quite difficult for others to properly understand. They possess different layers to get to their core.

They are loving, compassionate, and of course, introverted. But is this all the INFJ girlfriend is made off? Not at all.

In a relationship, knowing your partner is a great way to make it better. Everyone has a different personality and enneagram type. This makes them act a certain way or perceive things completely differently from other types. Sometimes there might be few differences and other times there could be a lot.

Everyone has two personality types with one being dominant, and there is this grey area where everything meets. Every personality type needs a certain type of partner with the most common attribute- being understanding.

The INFJ, for example, needs a partner who is patient with them, especially if you really want to get to know them. Just like everybody, the INFJ girlfriend has her own strengths and weaknesses. You are bound to seeing them in a relationship.

So, if you’re falling in love with an INFJ or you’re dating one, you need to pay close attention.

Things To Know About Your INFJ Girlfriend

Here are some important things you should know about your INFJ girlfriend

They Have Many Layers

As mentioned before, the INFJ girlfriend comes with many layers to their personality. You’ve probably seen or read this somewhere and it is entirely true. They are this way in and outside a romantic relationship so you don’t need to feel excluded.

It might be confusing for anyone wanting to date the INFJ as some people don’t know how to deal with that. You might think you know your INFJ girlfriend well but there are chances you don’t know everything.

She might share a lot with you but they usually have a few things they keep to themselves anyway.

You’re probably wondering why this happens but it’s easy. They find it difficult to express themselves the right way sometimes, so they just lock it up. It could take some time before they give in to you and completely open up even when they like you.

Are they secretive? No that isn’t the case here.

They aren’t hiding something that would shatter your heart, they just need time to open up. Being vulnerable to people comes with consequences and they are aware of that. This could be one of the reasons why they are hesitant.

It could take a long time to get to know them but eventually, you will. They are feelers and therefore let their feelings take control sometimes.

The INFJ girlfriend needs someone who would be supportive and understanding. This makes it very easy for them to open up because they know they can trust you. They don’t just let anyone into their space and even when they do, it doesn’t happen instantly.

It’s a gradual process you have to be willing to wait but would be glad you did.

INFJs are like onions and that means they come with multiple layers to their personality. This doesn’t make them shady people. They just need a little more patience and encouragement. Sooner or later, they would let you in completely.

As Much as They Love You, They Need Their Alone Time

Now your INFJ girlfriend may love you and want to be by your side when necessary. But you have to understand that they need their own space as well. They aren’t the needy kind who would always want to be in your face.

Far from that because just like every other introvert, they thrive by being alone. Sure, they love you or care about you deeply but without this alone time, they can talk about it right in front of you. This doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.

A lot of people do not quite get this about the introverted personality types but it is in their nature to act as such. If you’re expecting a girlfriend who is clingy and emotionally expressive, you might want to rethink. She might try meeting you halfway by doing these but that isn’t exactly who she is.

Your INFJ girlfriend wouldn’t be the clingy type. Instead, she is the one who needs her space. She needs her own time to fully immerse herself in her own world.

Where everything makes more sense and she’s the best version of herself. No matter how much she feels for anyone, she would not compromise this alone time and she doesn’t have to.

A partner of the INFJ girlfriend needs to understand this about them and let them be. They need to recharge to make them a better girlfriend mentally and emotionally.

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The importance of this to introverted personality types can’t be overemphasized. The last thing she needs is someone gaslighting her into compromising this. And if you push for it, it’s the quickest way to get her out the door.

She Appreciates Honesty

What makes an INFJ girlfriend happy? Flowers dates maybe but one thing is certain. She appreciates honesty and you have to be honest with her. They appreciate it when you tell them like it is.

They can’t stand being shut out from the truth so you do not want to do that. Your intentions and emotions mean a lot to your INFJ girlfriend. And what better way can she have access to these if you aren’t being honest with her?

When you continuously lie and show them how untrustworthy you can be, it pushes them away. This can eventually lead to the end of the relationship.

Attempting to be smart with an INFJ isn’t the best because they can sense when someone is being dishonest. And more times than not, they are right about it.

They need a partner who is sincere and honest with them, who doesn’t have deceit in their minds when they tell them things. They do not like it and it can frustrate them a lot more than you can imagine.

It is safe to say it is completely detestable to be that kind of partner to an INFJ girlfriend. It may be hard for them to let people in but they need people they care about to do just that.

They aren’t judgmental and honestly want the happiness of their partners. They require a partner who won’t lie to them and who understands how important it is for them to open up. If you would not be able to do this, you might want to reconsider a relationship with an INFJ girlfriend.

They Are Complex

The INFJ girlfriend is pretty much the complex type. They can be one thing and with a twist. They can be compassionate but also logical. INFJ girlfriends can be cute and warm but they are also tough.

You do not want to mess with an INFJ. With them, there’s a time for everything so you need to be careful. They have days when they could be the softest people you know. Other days may be different and this doesn’t make them hypocritical. It’s just in their nature.

You should know they aren’t the timidest of personality types. They may also seem a lot harder on the outside than on the inside. The INFJ girlfriend may not be out front with what she feels about you but this doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel it.

They are also great listeners even though they aren’t the best talkers. Your INFJ girlfriend can listen to you for hours and give you the best advice you can find. This is another reason why they make great partners.

On the other hand, they may be hesitant in expressing themselves more because they don’t know how to. It does not mean they do not feel any form of emotion towards their partners.

You should know this to be true because they would not date you if they didn’t feel anything for you.

Who Makes the Best Partner for The INFJ Girlfriend?

Introverts tend to be very picky but sometimes they still do not make the right decisions. So, it doesn’t matter if you’re introverted or extroverted; making the right partner for a person goes a lot more beyond that.

A good partner for the INFJ female is someone who is willing to be patient and understanding with her. Someone who can understand her complexities and multiple layers.

They need someone who understands their absolute need for alone time and supports them in their endeavors. They also need honesty and loyalty in a relationship because they will give it to you.

The INFJ girlfriend needs someone who truly loves her and is willing to be with her till she’s comfortable showing you herself. Anyone can date an INFJ girlfriend as long as you’re both compatible and understanding.

Aleruchi Kinika
Aleruchi is a photographer, writer, designer and an INTJ female. She enjoys telling stories and delivering messages through words, photographs and designs.

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